Tag Archives: chili

Tassie Christmas: The Taste

6 Jan

I hadn’t been to The Taste for a few years due to previous experiences of shit food and no seats. I had heard that these issues had been fixed so I linked up with Pilby, Daf and Mad Dog for a Taste power session.

We had an absolute ball trying different beer and getting maggot. I also ate the hottest thing I’ve had so far!

I went to The Taste for a second time with Pruey and the family, for a more civilised experience.

Both attendances were bloody fantastic! I will be there again next year for sure!

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The crew. Note the size of the cup tower in Pilby’s hand. I’m being pretty sensible at this stage. As a side note the Moo Brews were the highlight beer and reasonable at $7.5 a schooner.

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Here I am with my first hot dish. It was some sort of thai beef salad from the legends at Vanidols. I had heard their duck curry was a bum stinger so I went to them for that. Allas they weren’t serving it at The Taste so I requested their hottest dish, with specific instructions for it not to be the watered down rubbish for bogans, I wanted it hot like they have it! It was bloody tasty and bloody hot.

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After the beef salad I took my empty plate back to Vanidols as a trophy to my chilli powers. I told them it wasn’t hot enough and I wanted the hottest thing they had ever made (this seemed like a sick idea, probably as a result of the beers consumed in the foreground). They made me a small beef curry, the size of my hand, and loaded that bad boy with chilli flakes. It was hot. hottest thing I had ever eaten at that stage. It sent me sideways, as Prue can attest, after my behaviour when she picked me up 🙂 I blame it on the chilli and not the alcohol.

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Here’s me being being a good boy with Pruey on my second visit. I ate some chilli mussels but they weren’t very hot. I had some Ethiopian curry but that wasn’t hot either. Basically nothing hot this night except Prue 😉

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Product Review: The Chilli Factory – Turbo Supercharge Extreme Hot Habanero Paste

30 Dec
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The Old Boy – Johnny P – with an appropriate look of intrigue and fear on his face.

Fuck yeah another cracking Aussie sauce!

This one came as a gift from my mate Drew and was previously mention in my review of Queenie’s restaurant.

Holy chili gods! What an anus puckeringly good sauce!

The heat in this is derived from habaneros who make up a staggering amount of the sauce volume – yiewwww! Lots of sauces get their heat from chili extracts, which means they can pretty much be as hot as you want to make them. The downside of extracts is that they have an artificial chemical taste. For this reason chiliheads much prefer naturally heated sauces.

This sauce has an amazing fruity flavour, almost banana-ery. It is a nice globby consistency and went so well with the pulled pork sanga, I first tried it with.

Watch out though, this one is pretty hot. The heat doesn’t linger too long though but it gets on you lips so please watch where you put you mouth after eating this one 😉

Can’t wait to try more sauces from The Chilli Factory, this is only their 4th hottest or something!

Heat Rating – 6/10

Taste Rating – 7.5/10

Ring Sting – 3/10

Pros: No extract, flavour, Aussie co.

Cons: Small container, no funny labeling 😦

Price – Dunno got as a gift

Purchased from – Gift from legend Drew but he got it from The Chilli Factory’s stall at The Rocks Market. Also they are online: http://www.thechillifactory.com.au

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Restaurant Review: Queenie's – Surry Hills

20 Dec

On Wednesday night we assembled the core candle crew – PJ, Drew, Pruey, Clay and myself – and hit up Queenie’s, above The Forresters, in Surry Hills. This is a newish, Jamaican themed restaurant, done in the increasingly popular ‘authentic’ sort of decor. This is all good as long as it works, and in this case it does. It has a cosy but cruisy sort of vibe.

Drew, having learned of my Chili exploits was kind enough to bring me a pot of The Chilli Factory’s Turbo Supercharge Extreme Hot Habanero Paste, as a Christmas present. Hell yeah!!!!

This is Drew - legend!

This is Drew – legend!

Queenie’s is amazingly hipster as evidenced by the waitress showing side bra, and a guy sitting across from me in a Danzig cut-off shirt (I like this as long as it’s not an ironic gesture).

I had to attend the bathroom upon arrival, due to pre-loading (that’s what the kids are doing these days isn’t it?) on some Moo Brews and Mumm. It’s a bloody unisex bathroom! This sucks on a number of levels, but I’m sure in a pub-restaurant, it sucks worse for the girls sharing with us! I had to wait for a stall, and as the girl came out we made eye contact, and had a moment of understanding about what she had just been doing, and what I was about to do – awkward! No fucking paper towel either, so shit.

Back to the table and straight into some Red Stripes Jamaican Lager. A nice, flavourless, quaffable beer. Other beers consumed were Moritz and Palma Cristal. Pretty much the same description. The only beer we didn’t have was Dos Equis. Pretty lean and flavourless beer menu but it went well with the food and vibe, so whatever.

Weirdo drinking Red Stripe

Weirdo drinking Red Stripe

We started with some bbq corn that came coated in coconut and a spicy mayo. Great little dish, even if I was left picking my teeth. The sweet corn couple with the smokey bbq and fatty coconut was a hit.

Don't know whats more appetising - The Corn or The Clay?

Don’t know whats more appetising – The Corn or The Clay?

Also for starters we had the fried plantain (like an unripe banana). This was also a ripper dish especially dipped in the creamy aioli. My photo of this was too shit to post.

They had some chili sauces on the table but these weren’t very hot so I cracked the habanero sauce, Drew gave me. BOOM! Great sauce. Hot as anything I’ve had, and made by an Aussie company (full review in the next few days).

Drew's generous gift - Hot Sauce!!!

Drew’s generous gift – Hot Sauce!!!

Onto mains and I couldn’t go past the pork neck feast recommended for 3-4 people. I got PJ and Pruey on board for this. It came out and I immediately knew I’d made a mistake. Too small. Prue hardly ate any and PJ and I shared the rest, but it definitely does not deserve the title of a ‘feast’. I reckon I could have easily eaten this whole thing myself. It was amazing though, and cheap at $35. It came with buttered rolls, sweet potato fries (kick arse) and slaw (fresh and tasty). I loaded up my rolls with some of Drew’s hot sauce, a slab of pig neck and some slaw. There were no bones in the neck, the only bone was in my pants. This dish is awesome and perfect with some really hot sauce.

Shit picture of the 'feast'

Shit picture of the “feast”

PJ demonstrating how to eat pork neck

PJ demonstrating how to eat pork neck

For dessert we went up to Crown St to get an ice-cream from Gelato Messina. There was a line coming out the shop and down the street! Fuck that. I’m not a huge cold dessert fan so in my opinion no ice-cream is worth lining up for, especially with all the pencil neck hipsters.

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Dickheads at Messina Gelato

Pros: Cheap, tasty, pork neck!

Cons: Unisex toilets, hipsters, not enough hot sauce options

Rating: 6.5/10

Web: http://www.forresters.com.au/queenies/

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First World Chili Problems

20 Dec

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Product Review: Ass Reaper

16 Dec
The Reaper in all his evil glory!

The Reaper in all his evil glory!

Doesn’t this little fella just make you smile? With his funny name and cute bottle 🙂

That smile wont last long, because this little bugger is hot as fuck, and your ass is about to be reaped worse than if you passed out in the toilets at Arq.

I consumed this molten lava with my signature breakfast dish – Lazy Bastard Eggs – which is pretty much an omelet that I’m too lazy to cook properly so I turn it into scrambled eggs.

Each mouthful provided an agonising burn where I could feel the daggers of the main ingredients – Habanero, African Oleoresin (African birdseye extract) and Scotch Bonnet – jabbing the tips of my nerve endings. The flavour was beautiful, spicy and smooth with a hint of tomato sweetness.

Despite the heat, Rectum Ripper is actually a very accessible hot sauce. It’s intense while it’s in your mouth, but the moment you swallow you get immediate relief, just like……………….. 😉

The burn also didn’t last too long (5-10min) and all I was left with was the mythical chili high.

This one is certainly worth a try.

Heat Rating – 7/10

Taste Rating – 6/10

Ring Sting – 5/10

Pros: name, packaging and heat

Cons: heat derived from extract rather than real chili, expensive

Price – $15 (147ml)

Purchased from – http://www.chilemojo.com.au

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Product Review: Rectum Ripper XXX

13 Dec

I was hoping my arsehole would resemble this paper, unfortunately the Ripper’s scythe had no such effect.

I’m calling you out – Mr ‘Rectum Ripper’ – your promise to ‘send my arse to an early grave’ was as empty as a bad metaphor!

Despite consuming half the bottle (147ml bottle) my rectum is intact (disregarding prior damage).

Recum Ripper is a tasty sauce. It derives its heat from the ubiquitous habanero pepper. It has a nice herby flavour – courtesy of ginger and mustard – and was a pleasant addition to the lamb burger and steamed veg, I had for lunch. However, ‘pleasant’ isn’t a word I should be using to describe a hot sauce! The burn was present, but weak. More of a warm tingle, that came on slowly, and lingered in the back of the mouth. I did notice some minor under-eye sweat, but not enough to warrant a wiping.

An ingredient of note was ‘Clam Juice’ – perhaps this would have been a more appropriate ingredient for my previous review???

This is a quite accessible sauce for anyone with an interest in chili and keen on adding a snuggly fuzz to their feed.

Heat Rating – 3.5/10

Taste Rating – 6/10

Ring Sting – 0/10

Price – $10

Purchased from – http://www.chilemojo.com.au

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Product Review: Larry's Hot Pussy Juice

11 Dec
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Bell is as impressed as me, with this delicious, but incredibly weak sauce.

Despite the enticing name this chili sauce was a flop.

Don’t get me wrong, Larry has made a delicious sauce with a sweet and smokey flavour. It’s made from Habanero chili and also has some Chipotle in there, giving it a lovely dark appearance. It’s an oozer, and is quite thick and unctuous on the pour, requiring some spanking to spew forth. I lathered it all over my rissole and steamed veg and had a lovely meal.

However, we’re not here to fuck spiders, we’re here to rip our faces apart with blistering heat.

Unfortunately Larry, even with your Pussy Juice dripping down my chin I was left unaroused.

Heat Rating – 3/10

Taste Rating – 7/10

Ring Sting – 0/10

Price – $12

Purchased from – http://www.chilimojo.com.au

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