Tag Archives: chiligasm

Product Review: Hell’s Inferno Naga Bhut Jolokia Sauce

15 Feb
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The last time I heard this many bullshit claims, I was having a conversation with Chop about being straight-edge!

I’ve had this sauce lurking around at home for a little while, so as I approach the end of my Hell Week, I deemed it an appropriate sauce to finish with.

The sauce makes some big claims on the bottle: “1,000,000 scoville units”, “4 times hotter than habanero”, “no comparison”. These are all complete porky pies – it certainly is not 1,000,000 scoville units. To put this into context pepper spray starts at 2,000,000 scovilles.

The heat with this sauce isn’t too bad at all, in the mouth and throat, but as it festers in your guts it warms up quite a lot. Upon exit there is also some significant heat.

Despite not living up to it’s promises, it is still an extremely hot sauce considering it uses only natural ingredients (no extract). It is made up of ghost chillies (naga bhut jolokia) combined with chocolate and red habanero. This gives it a great naturally fruity flavour. In other words it tastes like sauce made from chillies!

This one is great used as a sauce on anything, but I think it would also do well to be used in cooking eg soups, pasta sauce, pizza etc.

Heat Rating – 7.5/10

Taste Rating – 7/10

Ring Sting – 4/10

Pros – Natural flavour of the raw chilli ingredients

Cons – Over exaggerated claims on bottle

Price – $20

Purchased from – Chilemojo (www.chilemojo.com.au)

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Product Review: Walkerswood – Las’ Lick Jerk Sauce

13 Feb
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Even though my left hand is broken I can still have a ‘hot & spicy’ jerk with my right!

I’m a huge fan of Walkerswood products as evidenced by my review of their Scotch Bonnet Pepper Sauce. So when i saw this, on the shelf at The Blackwattle Deli, I snatched it with my one working hand.

This is a Jamaican jerk sauce. Jerk spice are mainly characterised by the use of allspice and scotch bonnet chillies. They also generally contain a mix of cloves, cinnamon, scallions, nutmeg, thyme, garlic, and salt. This sauce contains all these things, however to turn it from a spice mix to a sauce they have added some tomatoes, vinegar and thickeners.

This unique mix of spice creates an earthy exotic flavour. It kind of tastes like a spicy, thick Worcestershire sauce, but with a hint of potpourri. This is the type of sauce you use to transform the flavour of something shit, rather than enhance the natural flavours. For instance on a plain piece of chicken or fish.

I loved this one. It isn’t very hot, but there is enough heat there to be interesting. The flavour is really unique. I think everyone should have ago of this one!

So far this is winning the Burning Anus Award for this week.

Heat Rating – 2.5/10

Taste Rating – 8.25/10

Ring Sting – 0/10

Pros – Dark and exotic flavour, enables ‘jerk’ gags, cheap

Cons – could be hotter

Price – $6.5

Purchased from – Blackwattle Deli (www.blackwattledeli.com.au)

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Product Review: The Other Chef – Smoky Habasco Sauce

11 Feb
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My crippled mitt presenting the sauce. Take note of the chilli coloured strapping! – Commitment.

Towards the end of last week I managed to break my hand, in the mosh-pit, at a punk rock show.

I have come to the conclusion that this injury was directly caused by not eating enough chilli. So to ensure my pussy hand bones don’t break again, I am going to bombard my pathetically fragile body with copious amounts of chilli!

As I can’t lift weights, my aim this week is to produce one product review every day. I apologise to Ed and Paul – who I am house sitting for – in advance for eminent bowl destruction.

It was with this intention that I ventured into my favourite Sydney chilli supplier – The Blackwattle Deli – where I purchased an array of produce, including this sauce.

I love Aussie sauces and I immediately knew this was a local due to its boring label and unimaginative bottle. As with picking up Thai girls in Bangkok, sometime a wonderful surprise can hide beneath a deceptive exterior.

The sauce gets its heat from habanero and red chilli, with these making up 20% and 10% of the volume respectively. Other ingredients include tomato juice, vinegar, paprika. It has a great consistency and smooth mouth feel. The flavour is very smokey and tomatoey. The heat comes on quickly and is a nice back-of-the-throat type heat.

This sauce has been awarded a silver medal a the Sydney Royal Show in 2011. I don’t know what the criteria or categories are, so I don’t trust this award. Instead I’ll give this my own award. I hereby present The Other Chef’s Smoky Habasco Sauce the Golden Anus award for the nicest sauce I have tried so far this week (please note that it is only Monday).

In all seriousness though, this is an exceptional sauce. I would recommend it to anyone who is bored of Tabasco and Cholula. It would go well with anything, but I suggest the watery consistency would best suit poached eggs.

Heat Rating – 5/10

Taste Rating – 8/10

Ring Sting – 2/10

Pros – Tastes delish, made in Port Macquarie, respectable heat

Cons – Presentation is a bit boring and doesn’t do it justice

Price – $12

Purchased from – Blackwattle Deli at The Fish Markets (http://www.blackwattledeli.com.au/)

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Product Review: Walkerswood Scotch Bonnet Pepper Sauce

5 Feb
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Horns up to you Walkerswood! Get inside me like The Devil!

So far – on my Chilligasm quest – I have sampled a wide range of condiments. Mostly I have focused on extremely hot sauces, however with my recent bout of gut hurt, I am temporarily shifting focus to flavour. This sauce from Walkerswood fits perfectly into this category.

The sauce is a light yellowy colour. As The King of Beers would say “it looks like Indian diarrhea”. It derives this colour from the Jamaican Scotch Bonnet Chilli. The seeds are clearly visible in the sauce. This is always a great sign as it indicates the sauce is probably made from raw ingredients rather than extracts and other fake bullshit.

The flavour with this sauce was incredible. It had habanero fruitiness, but much less intense and more balanced. It is salty and sweet. Sour and hot. This balance is what makes it such an awesome sauce.

At no point do you think “fuck me, this shit too hot” or “shit the bed, this homeboy too salty”. All the flavours and characteristics are in perfect harmony.

I can suggest this sauce for any dish. I would particularly recommend it for eggs.

So what from here? This is the plan:

1) Stop fucking around on Facebook trying to creep members of the opposite sex

2) Go to this website: http://www.windiestrading.com/products-page/walkerswood/walkerswood-scotch-bonnet-sauce-150ml/

3) Buy this sauce

4) Apply to your shitty eggs

5) Live the dream

Heat Rating – 5/10

Taste Rating – 9/10

Ring Sting – 1/10

Pros – Tastes amazing!!!!

Cons – I consumed the whole bottle in 3 meals

Price – $6ish

Purchased from – Blackwattle Deli at The Fish Markets (http://www.blackwattledeli.com.au/) but also from the link provided above

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Product Review: Mad Dog 357 – 357,000 Scoville Hot Sauce

15 Jan
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Yuck!

This sauce tastes like shit. But – fuck me – she strong!

I’d heard about this bad boy being hot, so I bought a little bottle to try. I only went for the small size as I knew this sauce contained extract, which can lead to unpleasant taste.

I took the thermonuclear vessel into work, to enjoy with my meat and veg. Turned out I was working with my buddy – Kilby (as featured in previous Tassie posts). He is a brave man and despite having a relatively limited exposure to extreme heat, he decided to join me in a world of burn!

We probably ingested about a teaspoon each with our food, and we were both in trouble. Firstly it tastes like arse crack. A very fake, bitter, chemical flavour that overwhelms whatever you put it with. The heat is immediate and intense. A very sharp and even heat. Somehow I got some in my throat and it made me gag.

This sauce is not recommended for anyone. It’s hot and doesn’t taste good. I can name some sauces equally as hot that taste nice, so don’t bother with this one.

Despite the sweat and tears, we had a ball. Below are some photos that document the fun we had.

Heat Rating – 8.5/10

Taste Rating – 1/10

Ring Sting – 7.5/10

Pros – Very hot

Cons – Use of extract, bad flavour

Price – $10

Purchased from – http://www.chilemojo.com.au

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Disclaimer on bottle. Neglects to inform the consumer about the taste of bum.

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Rest of disclaimer.

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Kilby drawing in the big ones!

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A Progress Report

13 Jan
Nice hot cup of tea. Lovely

Nice hot cup of tea. Lovely

I thought I’d make a post today about my progress towards my goal of becoming a chilli-master.

When I first started writing about eating hot food, it was with the intention of increasing my heat tolerance. I have since discovered a whole world andof chilli!

My tolerance for chilli increased rapidly initially, and I have now got to the stage where pretty hot food, doesn’t worry my mouth. However, this week I have hit what I call the chilli wall. I was testing a super hot sauce and afterwards I experienced intense gut ache. This lasted for a couple of hours. I rested from chilli that night. I got back on it the next day, but experienced the same pain, with sauces I would normally laugh at. So yesterday I had a very easy chill day (only seriously hot meal was 2 habanero’s in my omelet). Now I feel ready to keep pushing the limits!

Initially I was concerned about ring sting. I have come to believe that tolerance to ring sting increases just as rapidly as the mouth tolerance. We could test this theory by forming a human caterpillar and rating the arse-to-mouth heat experience.

Once you start looking, there is a whole world of chilli products out there. For instance: today I consumed a chilli tea from T2. It was  a delicious fruity tea that had a lovely hint of heat on the lips and throat. I can highly recommend this.

What I have really noticed with chilli is that it brings people together. Everyone is familiar with it, and as such can relate with one another’s experiences. I love seeing how interested (and bewildered) people are to hear about my endeavors. Equally I love hearing about their chilli experiences. I have been given gifts of sauces, fresh chilli and dried chilli, from many people I know, and have given chilli to others around me. I love seeing peoples willingness to try something hot. I think it says a lot about a person if they are willing to try something new, even though they know it will cause them pain.

I have a huge stockpile of chilli’s and sauce to get stuck into. So stay tuned for more posts about this wonderful fruit!

P.S. This post is way too prim and proper, so here is a link to the definition of chiligasm:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chiligasm

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Product Review: Boomslang Ghost Pepper Sauce

11 Jan
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The Boomslang! pictured here in it’s native habitat – my desk at work.

Santa you fucking prick! You slid this sauce into my limp stocking and have caused me days of excruciating toilet time ever since.

The Boomslang is a South African tree snake known for it’s large size and deadly venom. The name suits perfectly. Consuming this sauce is like suckling directly on the fang of one of those slimy bastards.

The heat comes from one of my favs – The Ghost Pepper – with some help from extract to take the heat to the next level.

Hot sauces tend to come in small bottles, which means I go through them quickly. Even though this is in the standard 147ml bottle, I am definitely not going through it quickly. A mere tablespoon is enough to leave me drooling and tripping out. I leave this sauce in my drawer at work and amuse my colleagues with fits of sweat and snot.

The flavour is good – smokey and deep. However, due to the use of extract and level of heat you don’t get much of a chance to taste this one.

I recommend this sauce for serious chiliheads who are more interested in being a hero (me!), than enjoying flavours.

Heat Rating – 8/10

Taste Rating – 5.5/10

Ring Sting – 7/10

Pros: South Africa theme, hot as the devil’s fart

Cons: Use of extract

Price – present

Purchased from – Christmas stocking, however I know you can get this on from http://www.chilemojo.com.au

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Tassie Christmas: The Other Shit

7 Jan

Tassie really is the best place in the world. If you disagree I’ll spike your water with Bhut Jolokia.

I had such a ball down there at Christmas doing stuff and things. I thought the best way to sum up all the non-chilli related experiences would be to simply caption some photos. Enjoy!

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Good times were had at the Great Lakes Hotel. Got pretty loose, ate roo rissoles and wasted a million bucks on fucking Irish bingo.

The highlight of any Tassie trip are these bastards! I got this one for free at Bronte Park General Store because it was 2 days old - score!!!!

The highlight of any Tassie trip are these bastards! I got this one for free at Bronte Park General Store because it was 2 days old – score!!!!

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Family on Christmas day doing what they do best – drink and bullshit. Backgournd L to R: Cow (Dad), Sammy, Norton, Pepsi, Dave. Foreground L to R: Mum, Fiona.

Mad Dog snr and Mad Dog jnr, at the Great Lakes Hotel, discussing how to pick up the local birds.

Mad Dog Sr and Mad Dog Jr, at the Great Lakes Hotel, discussing how to pick up the local birds.

The dogs: Maxie, Pruey and Charlie. This was taken at the Hobart farmers market. This market is awesome!

The dogs: Maxie, Pruey and Charlie. This was taken at the Hobart farmers market. This market is awesome!

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Here I am visiting The Beer Gardens, where the mythical Beer Tree was in bloom! Thanks Johnny M for giving us the guided tour.

The trouts don't stand a chance with this sexy beast on their case. Even Jessie is frothin'

The trouts don’t stand a chance with this sexy beast on their case. Even Jessie is frothin’

Drank some awesome stuff with this old bastard! This pic was taken at the end of the trip once we were beered out!

Drank some awesome stuff with this old bastard! This pic was taken at the end of the trip once we were beered out!

This needs no caption. Even though this is a caption.

Quite nice conditions on Great Lake. That’s Mad Dog out on the point.

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Tassie Christmas: The Taste

6 Jan

I hadn’t been to The Taste for a few years due to previous experiences of shit food and no seats. I had heard that these issues had been fixed so I linked up with Pilby, Daf and Mad Dog for a Taste power session.

We had an absolute ball trying different beer and getting maggot. I also ate the hottest thing I’ve had so far!

I went to The Taste for a second time with Pruey and the family, for a more civilised experience.

Both attendances were bloody fantastic! I will be there again next year for sure!

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The crew. Note the size of the cup tower in Pilby’s hand. I’m being pretty sensible at this stage. As a side note the Moo Brews were the highlight beer and reasonable at $7.5 a schooner.

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Here I am with my first hot dish. It was some sort of thai beef salad from the legends at Vanidols. I had heard their duck curry was a bum stinger so I went to them for that. Allas they weren’t serving it at The Taste so I requested their hottest dish, with specific instructions for it not to be the watered down rubbish for bogans, I wanted it hot like they have it! It was bloody tasty and bloody hot.

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After the beef salad I took my empty plate back to Vanidols as a trophy to my chilli powers. I told them it wasn’t hot enough and I wanted the hottest thing they had ever made (this seemed like a sick idea, probably as a result of the beers consumed in the foreground). They made me a small beef curry, the size of my hand, and loaded that bad boy with chilli flakes. It was hot. hottest thing I had ever eaten at that stage. It sent me sideways, as Prue can attest, after my behaviour when she picked me up 🙂 I blame it on the chilli and not the alcohol.

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Here’s me being being a good boy with Pruey on my second visit. I ate some chilli mussels but they weren’t very hot. I had some Ethiopian curry but that wasn’t hot either. Basically nothing hot this night except Prue 😉

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Tassie Christmas: The Chilli

3 Jan

I’m from Tasmania (probably why I’m such an idiot). So for Christmas I thought it best to go and visit the family and get into the Christmas cheer. Oh, and also go hard on the chilli!!!

Tassie isn’t the greatest place to have a chilli related experience. Due to the cool climate, chilli’s aren’t a great crop in Tassie. Despite this I managed to acquire some intense sauces and meals.

I thought the best way to summarise my Tassie experience would be photos with captions. I’ll split the 10 day trip into 3 posts.

I’ll give these sauces a full review in the near future.

Enjoy…….dickheads

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The Chilli Factory – Devil’s Delirium: I got this sauce from Mundy & Sons butchers in Hobart. Fuck it’s hot. I thought this was a fitting purchase being in the land of the devil. Mad Dog looks pretty pleased with himself, note that this photo was taken before he ate the sauce!

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I had a kick-arse brekky at Pump House and requested some Tabasco, they brought me this – much better than Tabasco! Still not very hot but great on their baked eggs with chorizo.

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Johnny M cooked Mad Dog and I a beautiful feast up at the lakes. We tried our best to ruin it with the Boomslang sauce (pictured on the table). Despite the head exploding and arse bursting heat of the sauce, the meal was epic!

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I was stoked to find a chilli chocolate within a mix from Norman and Dan! Unfortunately this is a gimmick. It had a nice fruity flavour, but no discernable heat.

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My uncle Doozie had this bad boy on offer for Christmas day. She hot! A very delicious sauce from an Aussie manufacturer.

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Christmas eve dinner at Pruey’s. Note the nearly empty jar of Devil’s Delirium next to my thumbs up. We went super hard on that sauce.

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This is why the Devil’s Delirium was nearly empty in the previous photo. Fresh baked bread at Mad Dog’s shack, fucking coated in molten lava. This fucked us hard. Good times, good times.

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